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3 Things the Prom Taught Me About Writing

On the left: me 20 years ago with my prom date, Mike. On the right: Me last weekend with my son.
On the left: me in 1993 with my prom date, Mike. On the right: Me last weekend with my son.

Twenty years ago this month, I attended my first prom. Last weekend, I got to experience a parenting milestone as my eldest son attended his. (I won’t go into how old I now feel…)

I had no idea how to approach it from the “mom” angle and even less of an idea how to help my son prepare for it. Needless to say, we both did what we do best – flew by the seat of our pants.

And while we were neck deep in Prom Prep 2013, I discovered a few tips that I can add to my ever-evolving writing arsenal and share with you.

Lesson One: It’s all in the details

Ordering the tux went (almost) without a hitch, but the corsage was nearly a disaster.

Our original corsage order turned out to be for a shoulder corsage, not the wrist corsage we’d intended to order.

If we’d just taken the time to double-check the description we’d have known that. Thankfully, an eagle-eyed designer at the florist called to confirm that’s what I’d actually wanted.

Writing Lesson One

In writing, make sure to always check your work. Missing even the smallest detail can lead to unintended (and potentially painful) consequences.

Your readers (or clients or editors) are placing their trust in you and if you fudge on the details or get lazy, you break that trust. If your readers lose trust in you, you lose your readers.

So take a moment to double-check that fact, or check your setting notes, or whatever applies to the writing you’re working on. Your readers are counting on you.

Lesson Two: Things can (and will) change at the last minute

Since my son waited until three weeks before prom to ask his date if she’d go with him, we went into the tux accessory selection colorblind. We decided to try a neutral-ish color of Navy, but three days before pickup, he told me that his date found the perfect dress — in red. (And it was the perfect dress; she looked stunning.)

We crossed our fingers and called the tux place. Can we change the colors on such short notice? Thankfully, for a modest fee, yes. (And well worth the result – he looked stunning too, if I may say so.)

Writing Lesson Two

You’re going get last minute changes either from your client, editor, or even your muse and you have two choices in how to deal with it:

  1. Whine and waste time fighting about it.
  2. Be professional and take it in stride.

I’m not saying be a doormat when you get an unexpected or last minute change. But take the time to examine it.

  • Is it legitimate?
  • Will it add something to the piece you’re working on?
  • Will it detract or make the piece worse?

Bring up legitimate concerns with your editor or client but otherwise, go with it! This last minute change may cost you something in sleep, missed meals, or a couple of Pepcids, but the results could very well be something beyond what you hoped for.

Lesson Three: Even flying blind, things work out beautifully

My son and his date color-coordinated their attire via verbal description only. Since she found her dress only a few days before prom, we didn’t know whether “Red” meant more toward the yellow or blue side of red. And asking my son if he knew if her dress had “Yellow or Blue undertones” was met with a blank stare and the sound of crickets chirping.

It turns out that they did a great job communicating, because her dress and his accessories matched perfectly.

Writing Lesson Three

You’ve gotten yourself saddled with a writing project that has little to no direction or requirements, or your novel has meandered off like a kitten chasing a butterfly. You’re now in what you consider “desperate times!”

But, you’ve heard the saying “desperation is the mother of invention,” right?

So close your eyes, jump off the ledge of faith, and dive in anyway. This could be your best work yet!

On the Prom Front, everything did work out in the end. While I counted the grey hairs I’ve gotten in the 20 years since my own prom (and writing so I wouldn’t cry), my son was having the time of his life.

What parenting situations in your own life have taught you about your business (whether it be writing, finance, technology, etc.) And do you have any tips on stopping the spread of grey hair?

Photo Credit: Gloria Masse and Jon Bristow

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What Do You Do When They Say “I Don’t Want to Read That”

A picture of a little boy pouting in a chair.
I don’t wanna.

Today’s blog post is more of a plea for advice than anything else, because I find myself at a loss.

You see, I’ve been blessed with two kids who love to read as much as I do.

Until now.

Up until last week, I’ve never had to beg, bribe or threaten either of my children to read a book.

Then, the beginning of school and the first reading assignment came along.

This year, for the “beginning of the year reading project,” the school assigned one book to all students rather then giving them a choice of books.

And it’s a book he hates. Which means he has absolutely no desire to read the thing.

Unfortunately for me, the boy and I share one very annoying trait: stubbornness.

Like me, if the youngest is uninterested in something, there’s very little in the world that can make him do it. While I didn’t outgrow this annoying trait, I did eventually discover that some things have to be done whether they’re interesting or not. It’s a lesson I’m now in the process of trying to teach a stubborn youngster.

The boy who finished the 7th Harry Potter book in less than a day has taken a week to read 110 pages. I’ve tried everything: orders, cajoling, bribery, threats. One or more of those have worked well in the past, but we’re still only 110 pages into the book.

He’d rather do dishes, by hand, than read this book.

He’s gone so far as to take a book from his personal library, with a cover similar to the “evil” one, to fool his stepdad and I into thinking he’s reading the assigned one. (Once we caught on, the imposter book got confiscated.)

So now I make a heartfelt appeal to you: When you’ve run against a similar situation with your children, how do you help them learn that whether they like it or not, they have to do it anyway?

Photo Credit: Karen Bristow

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Mother’s Day Gifts that Won’t Break the Piggy Bank

My Dollar Store finds. Minus the gloves; those got used.

“Do dollar stores offer gifts for Mother’s Day that won’t end up in the Goodwill pile the moment Junior forgets he gave that thing to you?”

This is the question that ran through my brain the other day while I was coasting up and down the aisles of my local dollar store buying paper towels, cleaning supplies and some plastic forks.

I’m not saying I don’t appreciate every handmade card, half-painted frame, noodle necklace, etc., that my kids have given me in the past. I have most of those either displayed or packed away where I can stumble on them and tear up with motherly pride! Except for maybe the noodle necklaces. Those fell prey to the beagle…

But now that they’re getting older, they like to buy things for me (sweet kiddos). And aside from plastic flower decorations that will get dusty in a week and bath stuff that may or may not make one smell like one of those plastic roses, what can consumer-minded kids buy for mom that won’t break their piggy banks?

With some creative aisle cruising, I found two pretty cool Mom Day gifts!

For the Mom who’s a “Cooking Crackerjack”

A quick stroll through the kitchen gadget aisle scored these treasures:

  • Dry-measuring cups
  • Measuring spoons
  • 3-quart mixing bowl with “no-skid” bottom, handle and pouring spout
  • Wooden spoons
  • Rubber spatula
  • Muffin tin (6-muffin capacity)

All the tools mother and son/daughter will need to whip up some delicious breakfast muffins together on Mother’s Day. The grand total: $6.00 (plus applicable sales tax).

For the Mom who’s a “Gardening Guru”

Tucked away in the “Summer Fun” section of the Dollar store, with all of the beach toys and outdoor fun supplies I found:

  • Plant seeds
  • Pretty gardening gloves
  • Plastic beach shovels and rakes
  • Small ceramic pots
  • Plastic pots (to use as a liner for the ceramic ones)

Toss in some soil, sunshine and water and Mom and child can start a pretty window or patio garden for less than this week’s allowance.

The bonus hidden in these inexpensive gift ideas is they’re also activities that kids can engage in with their moms. Celebrating and spending time with Mom is, after all, the best part of Mother’s Day!

Do you have a favorite Mother’s Day gift? Mine are two tiles. One has my youngest’s hand prints on them, the other, my eldest carved a bird into it. They are on permanent display.

Photo credit: Karen Bristow

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Celebrate Earth Day in the Florida Panhandle

Alfred B. McClay State Park - Tallahassee, Florida
Alfred B. McClay State Park - Tallahassee, Florida

The Panhandle of Florida is an outdoors-man’s paradise. Over two hundred miles of beaches and more than a million acres of forests, wetlands and natural springs offer adventures for every earth-loving family. If you’re looking for fun ways to celebrate Earth Day here are 4 Great Ways to Celebrate Earth Day in the Florida Panhandle. All of these activities take place in some of the Panhandle’s beautiful state parks!

Do you “celebrate” Earth Day? If so, what’s your favorite activity?

Photo Credit: Karen Bristow

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Facebook as Connection Tool

There are plenty of reasons to maintain a healthy annoyance at Facebook. Things like, your privacy settings getting reset every time they change something you just got used to. Definitely a good reason to stay annoyed.

But there’s a really neat reason not to drop Facebook like a container of wriggling spiders.

Reconnecting and staying connected.

In my case, I’ve reconnected with family.

My parents moved us away from Rhode Island just before my 16th birthday. Which, for the record, was … a long time ago. Some of my cousins weren’t even born when we moved and I’ve maybe seen them once in all this time.

Thanks to Facebook though, we’ve managed to connect (and in some cases, reconnect) and I’m getting to know these really cool people. All without the awkward silences that come from say, family reunions, where relatives introduce you to someone you once met when you were an infant.

“Honey, you remember your cousin Karen, right? You were four months old the last time you saw her. She wrestles cheetahs or something now.”

Facebook lets you avoid the nervous smile and wave that usually accompanies that kind of re-introduction. (And I wrestle with a Cheetos addiction… not with actual cheetahs.)

One of the neatest parts is getting to live and travel vicariously through my family members as they post pictures of their time in places like New Zealand or Italy. And I’m learning that majoring in medicine is not for the faint of heart or weak of mind.

By extension, I’ve reconnected with their parents as well. And my aunts and uncles, I do remember. And miss. Yes, there are phone calls, emails, and letters. But Facebook is so immediate. On busy days, when life has me by the throat and is shaking me like a gator with prey, I can keep up with my family in real-time, with a glance at my phone.

Facebook may have its quirks when it comes to privacy and user experience (Timeline, anyone?), but with keeping you connected, it’s pretty awesome.

Now I’m curious about how to use this connection epiphany for business as well as personal. How can I use this real-time interaction with people to expand a business?

How have you used Facebook to a business advantage? And has Facebook helped you reconnect and stay connected to family or friends that you haven’t seen in years?